jueves, 30 de junio de 2016

JOKES OF CHILDREN, In English.

Notes:
a) Please can you send your jokes, or jokes to share the E-mail or e-mail: Amedrondon@gmail.com. Thank you.
I will respect the name of the joke, and please write the name of the country of origin. Thank you so much.

b) Also remember, you can see another group of jokes in my other page Blogger: JOKES, CHISTES, REVIEWS, SPORT, TODAY, AMED. Thank you.

JOKES OF CHILDREN
128.- missing girl. Joke. A man is walking his daughter to the park, and it is lost, then Mr. goes and asks another man, if I had not seen Mr. ?, and says no, and asks him how She called the girl ?, and Mr. replied: named "Esperanza", then the master, says, then it will be difficult to find, friend, because hope is the last thing you lose.

127. Speaking languages. Joke. How Plagiarism is said in Chinese? Telescope

126. The girl at the pharmacy.
A girl in the pharmacy asks for a condom, and the pharmacist asks you to who's that ?, and the girl replied: It is for me, is that you no longer want to have more dolls, please.

125.- The nun and the child.
A nun who had a child without being defrocked, explained that she had no sin, because she only had risen.

124. An explanatory mother.
Mom tells her daughter that sex-addicted women are called Nymphos, and the daughter replies, and then because to me at school tell me bitch.

123. A child confessing.
A child confesses to Cure: tits she grabbed her grandmother, and the priest tells him how it was, son? And the child explains: Yes, those with a fruit ices she sells.

122. The girl and her mother.
A girl tells the mother that there came a woman who had taken her dad, and mom says, let's get out of here, daughter, maybe comes to return it.

121.- Call by phone. (In Spanish).
To a man call by phone at 3 am and asked if I was Yepeto? The Lord replied: No, but now I'm Yomío Yepeite, Fuck your mother.
120. A Peasant giving birth.
A peasant woman who was giving birth, Doctor bother him because he told her to have the child, had put oxygen, and she wanted to put another name.

119. The Fox and the Hound.
A fox asks why a dog crying? The dog tells his girlfriend was a fox, and the fox replied: Do not worry my girlfriend is a bitch.

118. The Nutty Professor.
The passing list, professor says: Whore Cabrona, and the student responds, is Ramona Cabrera teacher present.

117. A Child at a wake.
A child in a wake tells his grandmother: Hey Grandma, you're like movie premiere, and responds Granny: and how is it beautiful daddy ?, and tells the child: soon in this room, Grandma.

116. The Drunkard and Child.
A Drunkard enters the church, stands before God and says: friend help me, I need. The priest sees this and behind the Holy lets you drop a few coins. The drunkard got used, always he came. The priest thought: No. Up Here. He removed God and put the baby Jesus. He reached the drunk already used to, does not see God but the baby Jesus, and tells the child: friend, your dad would not let me coins you?

115.- The boy in love.
A boy tells the father that had all the girls crazy block for him. And the father replied: that's my son, just like me, and the child says and how is that Dad ?, trickster son liar.

114. The Midwife and daughters.
One lady says to the other: hello comadre, as are their daughters ?, and the other responds, hear gossip, Crispula not improve, always loose and on the street, however Bambarita always settled, that is here the home to the brothel and vice versa, there does not come out.

113.- Mastering women.
Daddy, teach me to dominate women. Wait to finish sweeping the whole house.

112.- change color.
The first color change was Mickael Jackson, first black and then white.

111.- covered.
Compliments knife told a spoon, and this did not stop him, and says the knife: it seems not to listen.
110.- Parent to Child.
Dad tells his daughter: daughter, what you did not have a name, and the daughter replied: Do not worry Daddy, in nine months, I put one.

109.- want to be good.
To be well needed: a woman who treats you well, one with money and one that serves you well. And none is known.

108.- at a funeral.
A priest said at the funeral that the deceased was the best person in the world, the best Christian, and the widow tells the child: go see if we are in your dad's funeral.

107.- reading problems.
Lord, please: give me 2 chinchurrias and 2 hallacas. Excuse me sir, there is what he says: hammocks and hammocks.

106. A San Nicolas bad.
St. Nicholas turned bad, he ate a reindeer and entered kicking a Dwarf.

105.- The young lover.
A guy falling in love a lady says to him, I know my love washing, ironing, washing, babysitting, and she responds, then get yourself a husband.

104.- letter to the Child Jesus.
When I was little baby Jesus could not read, I brought what I could. He learned to read now that I'm an adult.

103. Girls are not punished.
Mom, you punish them for something I did not do? and it responds, how I'll punish you if you did nothing, then the girl says, well, I did not do the tasks.

102. The call of the wild.
Hello, is Conchita? Not with Tarzan.

101. The knowledge and power.
If youth knew, and old could, else out.
100.- The ideal situation.
The ideal situation is to have women that your wife thinks you have, have the money that everyone thinks you have, be as good as it should be.

99. The child home.
A child comes home and tells the mother that why at school told him distracted? And the lady says, but if you live there in front, boy.

98.- The Vatican reported.
The Vatican said the nun who became pregnant was going to call now: Startled.

97. Speaking Chinese.
How mirror is said in Chinese? I'm There.

96. The child and the Devil.
A child sees the Devil in the corner, and asks if he was married ?, and Diablo replied: please stupid boy, I'm the devil, how can I be married, and the child tells him good, and those chubs are ornaments then, you bastard.

95.- Three Kings.
Hi, I'm Melchor, I'm gone shit I grabbed drunk last night with Balta and Gaspy. The camels we went with some donkeys. I do not think it arrive on time. But just in case, Happy Three Kings Day.

94.- El Niño Bocón.
A child tells the mother that at school they tell Bocón and mom answers: Do not listen my son and take off that plate of mouth.

93.- The ugly child. Joke. A child was born so ugly that should start walking as at 4 months. Nobody was carrying.

92. From a daughter to her mother.
A girl asks her mom why her cousins ​​were called Rosa and Azucena? Mom replies that is that her aunt was very fond of flowers, then the girl asks again: and you mom, you liked? Mom gets upset and says now you're asking a lot, go to bed Penelope and Paloma.

91. The Centipede in distress.
Insect friends come looking for the centipede rushed to party and Centipede tells them wait a momentico, I do not get the shoes.
90.- Portuguese friend.
One Lord asks a Portuguese that if it was of Madeira and the Portuguese replied: No sir, it is madeira Pinocchio.

89.- A good boy.
School children ask a donation to form the First Aid Kit and a child wears a medical oxygen tank. The teacher asks him who he was? And the boy replied that it was her grandmother, then the teacher asks, and he said your grandmother, beautiful daddy? Do not the lleveees.

88.- The Child pigheaded.
A child asks why the mom at school told him pigheaded? And mom replies, not listen to them and comb your hair the soccer ball.

87. Speaking languages.
How mother say in Russian? No estorve.
How to say 99 in Japanese? Cachichen.
How Mirror say in Chinese? Aitoi.

86.- The monkey with nails.
A monkey walks into a greengrocer insistently ask if they had bananas? and the fruit bowl says no. The monkey insists the question and the fruit bowl tired and says no, and tells him that if he would ask himself what to hang on the wall with a nail through the tongue. Then the monkey asks if the greengrocer had nails and says no. Then the monkey asks again if you had bananas?

85. The Drunkard and Bat-man.
A Drunkard runs behind a person who has a coat and says: Please, I need your help, it is you who defends the defenseless and helpless anti-social.? And he answered: No sir, I am a Nun of Charity, and the drunk says, oh sorry, I thought he was Bat-man.

84. The Chinese Tourist.
A Chinese tourist has to hungry but do not know the language and did not know order, enters a restaurant and see a man who is going to do, it is placed alongside and as the Lord says: give me a soup, Chinese says : me too, Mr. notices and says: bread you give me, and the Chinese repeated to me also, Mr. gets upset and says, and give me a poop of this size and says the Chinese: I no longer want more nothing.

83.- The dog Fifi.
A guy goes home to his girlfriend to ask for her hand but goes wrong gas in the stomach. Young mom orders him go, sit down to talk and beside him the puppy house called Fifi feel. When you are talking to Lord comes off a gas, Mrs. realizes and says Fifi to go outside, the guy thinks the lady is throwing the blame the dog does not move and stays there. The guy gets to feel another gas and let it out, the lady realizes Fifi repeated again and see you go outside and the dog ignores. The guy grabs confidence and let out another gas and the Lady says Fifi, which take off from there that man will shitting.

82. Ladies and jokes.
According to the logic, the ladies laugh three times when going to tell a joke: First they laugh when they are told that they are going to tell a joke, Second turn to laugh when you're telling the joke, and then They turn to laugh when they understand the joke.

81. The snoop child.
A girls were climbing on the branches of trees and a childs was watching, and a girl says to the other: that boy is watching us if rude, just wants us to see the bloomers, and responds the other : me is to stay with the desire because I do not have position.
80.- A guy in the jungle.
One type is missing in the jungle, and is very hungry. In that they catch cannibals, they take it and put in a large pot and start to put him to the pot: potatoes and more potatoes, and leave carrying candela a good time to soften them, when they go to check how they are of softies, get the guy and tells the cannibals: more potatoes.

79. Children and Evil Amen.
Some children were discussing that you were more afraid and one of them says he was more afraid to Malamén, and another child asks why are you so afraid of Evil Amen? And he replied that the Church is that everyone said: Deliver us from Evil Amen.

78. The Milkman.
The teacher asks the children to see that skills have to perform in the future and asks Pedrito: Pedrito you're watching me right now? And Pedrito hair responds the teacher and the teacher tells him: You're going to be a hairdresser, let's see Danielito you who are watching me now? The teacher eyes, you'll be Ophthalmologist Danielito and you Louie, what are you watching me? I'll be Milkman, teacher.

77.- The American tourist.
A taxi driver is walking an American tourist and everything he taught American he would just say, in my country it be much larger, he taught him more and also the tourist would say, that in my country to be much larger, tourist takes him to the zoo and teaches the American the largest Turtle and the American had asked the lord: and they that be? And the Lord replied: that be a Bug, and American says: A Bug, God, that be very small in our country.

76. The lamp and genius.
An intellectual gentleman who just liked reading lamp Aladin is achieved and begins to rub it in that he appears a genius and tells him to ask only 3 wishes he's granted, and the guy says 1 I want a library , poof, the library appears, 2nd i want many books, and poof, books appear, and 3 want to stay alone in the world, and poof, they disappear genius and everyone, and when the gentleman will go to the library They dropped his reading glasses, and he went bankrupt.

75. Walk through the field.
A family goes for a walk through the countryside and when watching cows, a few goats and donkeys, the lady tells her husband: look my love, how beautiful, your whole family having fun, and tells her husband: exactly my love, yes, all my laws and my sisters and brothers.

74.- nothing.
A young man asks another how he's doing in his new job and he replies that how a fish in water, and the young man says, and how that is, what are you doing? And the friend answers: Nothing.

73. What Throw class.
Mom asks Louie to why they kicked out of school? And Louie responds that he does not know why he did nothing, then the mother says, but did nothing because you will bounce class? And Louie says: Of course, I did nothing of what we were sent to do.

72. Baby crying.
The baby is crying and the lady tells her husband: my love, change, and the husband responds, and you think we can ask for it.

71.- Lost child.
The husband tells his wife: Mom, give me the baby, and the wife responds, wait till I cried, and the husband asks, but why should I wait for crying? And the lady replied: is he missed me.
70.- At school.
The mother asks her son: Daddy, why are you so quick to school? And the child responds, is that I was the only one who could answer a question to the teacher, and the mother says, and what question was papi: and tells the child: who hit me over the head that draft ?.

69. Sleeping.
A child is sleeping in class and classmate says, buddy, school can not sleep, and the child responds: how it will be able to sleep with that habladera.

68.- The Aunt.
Arrives aunt visiting the home and the child says without meaning to hear aunt, your if you're stupid, and mom gets very brave and tells the child: because you told that to your aunt, ask apology and tell that you feel it, and tells the boy's aunt: aunt excuse me, sorry, but you if you're stupid.

67.- The teacher in class.
The teacher asks Kenito that would tell decently as his girlfriend if I should go to the toilet to urinate? And Kenito responds, easy teacher, excuse me, love me, but I must go to see a friend that soon you'll know it.

66. I do not see Laughter.
The teacher explains to children Hyenas are few wild animals of Africa, they only eat carrion, they mate only once, and only laugh, and Kenito asks if he understood the explanation? And Kenito answers: I understood nothing teacher, like an animal that lives so far away, only eat shit, and that only mates once, and besides that laughs do not understand that you can give laughter, do not understand anything.

65.- Conversing.
They are three gentlemen talking about their children and says one: my son works selling houses and doing so well that he gave one to one friend, and says the other: casually my son sells cars and did the same, he gave away a car to a friend, and says the third lord: my son what you have is luck, you have two friends, one gave him a house and the other gave him a car.

64. Arriving late to school.
Louie had not come to class and the teacher begins by asking the children, to see the local children have opened their home that is useful to your family, tell your Anastasito? Master, for my house they put a flea market, is very good because my mom buys around, well, tell me your Cristoforito? They teacher for my house put a pharmacy, and is very good because we have drugs nearby, in that the teacher sees is coming Louie and tells students: children, if Louie starts with their stupidities are out of school and go to the courtyard, indeed, arriving Louie does not know they are talking, the teacher asks him the same question and Louie says: my house put a house for Gays, right there all the children stood at once to go and Louie He tells them, but because they are still not been opened.

63. Children learn.
A boy asks his dad means hijoé bitch, and dad replied that it is friends, then the child hears shit and asks his dad's that, and dad replied that it is things, then the child hears cagadas and also asks the father and this responds: goodies. On his birthday the child was telling all his friends that arrived: welcome hijoé bitch, put your shit right there, that'll bring a shit.

62. In Classes.
The teacher arrives with a miniskirt to give the starting class and dropped the draft and trying to pick it up was seen over the account, and the teacher says: Aristóbulito, you saw me? Only the master quills, okey, a month without classes, you Pancrasito that the teacher saw me ?, knees, okey, two months classless and you Kenito, you saw me? See you next year teacher.

61. Arriving early.
The child comes early to school and the teacher congratulates him, and the boy tells him that because congratulates if not her birthday, and she responds to him for that, because you're early, and the boy says, is that it brings me an uncle who is a footballer, and asks the teacher, and that is all that you get there early Yea, your uncle is a footballer? It is he brings me kicked.
60.- News.
The child comes home from school and tells the father that he will give two news, good and bad, and dad tells him to tell you first the good news and the child tells you he had spent all his materials, dad is happy and congratulates him and then says, now tell me the bad news: good dad, everything you just said is a lie.

59. Cutting Flower.
The teacher tells the children that when they go to the toilet told that they are going to cut a flower, and indeed, for Juliancito and says teacher will cut a flower, then for Willie and he says teacher will cut a flower, while Kenito stops and tells the teacher: teacher, I need paper to clean the vase.

58. A child asking.
The child asks dad: Dad, as you know when a person is drunk? And the father replied: Come here my son, listen to, when a person is drunk is already seeing double, I'll explain, you see those two women who come there? And the child answers: what two dad, if only comes.

57.- The rag doll.
A girl tells her mother to buy him a rag doll, and the mother replied that is very nice to be humble tastes, and the girl says, nothing humble mother, is that my Barbies need a maid.

56.- KENITO is very intelligent.
Kenito ever tells the teacher that he is very smart to be in that degree, that he should be in the 6th. Grade and the teacher replied that he will talk to the Director to see that decides, and the Director approves the assessment. evaluation begins by asking the Director:
-How Much is 3 x 3?
9 director
-6 Times six?
36 Professor
And so the Director makes you a few questions to Kenito and he answers them all and says the teacher, let me ask you a few questions I:
-What Is the cow in 4 I have in 2?
Legs, teacher.
-What you're wearing pants that I do not?
The Director is surprised by the question, and says Kenito:
Pockets, teacher.
Which enters the center of women and the man behind?
The Director blushes, and responds Kenito:
The letter "E", teacher,
-Where Are the baddest women hair?
The Director sees Kenito, and he says:
In Africa,
-What Is soft and in the hands of a woman gets very hard?
The lowers his head, and Kenito Director responded quickly:
Master painting nails,
'How we have women in the middle of the legs?
The Director sighs, and says Kenito:
Knees, teacher,
-what Have wider married women than single women?
The Director stares at the teacher, and says Kenito:
The master bed,
What a word begins with "C" and ends with "O" is arrugadito and all have it back?
The Director sighs, and Kenito answers:
The master Elbow,
What a word begins with "C" has a hole in the middle, and I gave it to everyone to triumph?
The Director turns his face to the other side, and responds Kenito:
CD., Teacher,
It is for the Director and interrupts the interview and tells the teacher: teacher put it in 6th, just fail myself all these questions.
55.- Red Riding Hood in the Forest.
VA Riding Hood in the woods and finds the Wolf and asks:
'How big ears you have?
If,
What a face redder you?
If
-what Eyes so wide you?
If,
-What's clenched teeth you have?
Coooño yes, Riding Hood, let me shit.

Placing 54.- names.
When God was putting the name the animals said: You shall be called Gallina, you will be called Pig, you will be called Donkey, Donkey and says: how I'm going to call? Donkey, and each time, the donkey was wondering the same thing, and God gets upset and says idiot donkey, and the donkey responds: a clear, I already said the name as well.

53.- A Lawyer in The Heaven.
A lawyer arrives in heaven and Sn Pedro says:
Here attorneys NO, and says attorney:
and who are you? And Sn Pedro replied:
I am the keeper,
To see your credentials,
Let me talk to Jesus, and Jesus comes and tells the Lawyer:
Here Lawyers not accepted,
And who are you.?
I am Jesus, the Son of God,
To see your birth ?, and Jesus says:
Best friend pass and will ask for marriage certificates, etc. etc., pass, pass.
  
52.- not become pregnant.
A lady tells her best friend: Hey friend, I have to watch a lot of getting pregnant, and the other replies, but girl, if your husband is sterile, and tells the lady: for this reason, friend, exactly.

51. The Mother of Fools.
Two ladies have very dumb kids are talking and one says to the other: Hey friend, my son if silly, and you'll see, calls the child and says Plutarquito, go home and go see if I'm there, and the other responds: dumber than mine impossible, and you'll see: Eraclito, take these 100 Bolivars and bring me a color TV. The two children go together and one says to the other: Mom if silly, telling me to go see if he's in the house and does not give me the key, and the other replies, mine is much dumber: me he says he would bring a TV, color and does not tell me what color he wants.
50. Grandpa morning.
A grandfather tells his grandson: Daddy, I'll give tomorrow 10 Bolívares if you bring me one of those who call azulitas Viagra pills, having your dad in the drawer of his nightstand, he knows not. The next day the grandfather gives the child 100 Bolivars and the child says, but why you give me, if you just tell me 10? And he answered grandfather else you sent him your grandmother.

49.- Galician pains.
A Galician goes to the doctor because he has a pain in one leg, and the doctor says that's an age thing, and Galician answers: but if the other is the same age, and does not hurt me.

48.- El Drunk and son.
A child tells another that his dad comes every night to join many drinks, the other replied that if it's because he drinks a lot, and the child says, no, that brings them a Bar.

47.- A Galician at the supermarket.
A Galician he was surprised uncovering a milk carton in a supermarket and asked what that container uncapped why there? And the Galician replied that the package instructions say: open here.

46. ​​Among Ladies.
A lady asks another: Hey friend, that you look like you men, with the undertakers cemetery ?, and the other replies: I have no idea friend, what ?, and tells the other: it is that only our bodies are concerned.

45.- El Galician and Elephants.
A Galician explains to another needed more than 1,000 elephants to the keys of the piano, and the other responds, it is amazing what you can learn to do the Elephants.

44. Burial of Galician.
A Galician die and when they go to bury one of the children says they should bury him 1,000 Euros as he wanted, and says the other child: not only will 750 that is what we have, and says daughter: no brothers, none of that, metámosle with credit card and spend as he wants.

43.- The Galician and Sausage.
Galician has a factory Linker, and is explaining to your child the work of the factory, and tells the Child: my Son, meteis these donkeys around here, and already there you will be leaving the sausage, and the child replied: hey dad, and if we do the reverse, if I put the sausage around here, I'll be leaving a Donkey there, and responds Galician, my son, the only machine I will I got a sausage ​​and what has emerged is a donkey was your mother.

42.- El Galician eating.
A Galician tells his wife: Hey woman, sausages you have given me are very hot, and the wife responds: be careful not to put go to fight, man, you know.

41.- Galician cooking.
The son tells his mother Galician: mother're cooking spaghetti that are sticking, and responds Mom: Do not worry my son, let them fuck, cunt.
40.- Concerned Galician.
The son tells his mother: Hey mom, I've cut the finger, and the mother replied: Do not worry my son, stand a Band-Aid, and tells the child: that's good mother, but I do not know where the finger has fallen.

39.- Galician analyzed.
The son tells his mother: Hey mother, if Father God gives us food, if the stork brings children, and if the Magi bring us toys, which is what my dad?

38. The Child Transportation.
A child rides his school bus and is singing: If my father was a horse and my mom a mare, I would be a horse, if my father was a monkey and my mom was a monkey, I'd be a monkey, the driver is impaired both hear the song and tells the child: hey son, and if your dad was gay and your mother that you were one Prostitute? And the child replied: insurance would be a shuttle driver.

37.- Photographer Galician.
A Galician is on maternity taking photos of her newborn son and the nurse says, very nice gentleman, happy with her first child ?, and answers Galician: happy yes ma'am, but not my first son, is my first chamber.

36.- Galician sick.
A Galician tells another: Hey Manolo, have told me that your daughter walks with Gonorrhea, and responds Manolo: my friend, I told her to set who go, and that's her thing.

35.- Galician bodybuilder.
Comes a Galician with his young son with bare chest, and another says: Hey Manolo, this thy son does have good muscles, and responds Manolo: it is that the Doctor has told us that the child should catch weight, and then I I put it to grab weights.

34. A Child is light.
A boy asks his dad: Dad, who is love ?, and dad replied: love is the light of life, son, and returns the child to question, and that is marriage, Dad? A good son, marriage is the bill that comes later.

33. Flying Family. Theatrical act farce.
The curtain opens and a balcony appears, and through it is observed that Mr. Diaz was whizzes plant, the curtain closes. It reopens the curtain and reappears the same balcony, and through it looks now, the mrs. Diaz goes flying toward you plant too, closes the curtain, and how to call the play? Diaz fly by.

32.- Manolo, you and me it is.
The wife asks Manolo: man, you and me who are we? And Manolo answers: Hey woman, these are pronouns, coooño, learn.

31. Riding Hood and the Wolf.
Riding Hood goes through the woods and meets the Wolf, and he says, hey Riding Hood, I'll give a kiss where no one has thought give it before, and answers Riding Hood: then will I you going to give in the Basket.
30. Argentine and Premature Babies.
An Argentine asks another: Hey hey, why is it that here in Argentine exist many Premature Babies? And the other responds: Che tell you, is that neither mothers endure us.

29. Car Christians.
A guy tells another: Hey friend, this is my vehicle all religious experience every day, and the other asks, and because that, my friend? And he says the other: is that every day I have to be praying to boot.

28.- Divorced.
In a Divorce the wife tells the husband: I am left with the child, because it is mine, and tells her husband: and why I can not be myself with him ?, and she says no, because it is mine, and tells the husband: and as you know is yours, nor is it yours? and he tells the woman, and how's that crazy ?, rolo'e and tells the husband, you remember you when he was born, you told me to change, well, I went and changed.

27.- Pepe and Manolo.
Pepe tells Manolo: Manolo Hey, can you tell me what day it is today? And Manolo responds, let me ask my wife to see if she knows, Pepe, saying: Woman, quediesoy? And the woman replied: that what are you, man? good for nothing, that's clear.

26. Mother to her son.
The already elderly mother asks her son, a professional and man child, I was a good mother to you? And the son answers: Of course yes, mother, I think I've been the only person I've had to learn to walk and to change the diapers myself, with only 4 months old.

25. The Boy his Dad.
The Boy tells his Father: Dad, I like a girl in school, but it does me no case, and responds dad: son, if you like that girl and you love her, ándale of all out and the child responds: OK dad, I'll go all out, one of them must fall.

24.- Wife quality.
The wife tells the husband: Daddy, lay the child and have already put the chicken in the oven, and the husband responds: but if I saw the chicken in the cradle, turn the oven off, coooño.

23. In the Bank.
A guy comes to Ophthalmologist and says hear Doctor, I think I'm not seeing well, I think I need a pair of glasses, and answers the Doctor: friend, I think it is true that, because this here is a bank.

22. Bathing the child.
Mom is bathing the child, demoting in the bathtub, grabbing him by the ears, and tells her husband: Hey mom, because you have to be pulling him by the ears, and responds lady: not Daddy, is that water it is very hot.

21. Wife Deaf.
A man tells his wife: Hey Mom, if I give it a shot, you feel it? And the wife replied: of course I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm not deaf.
20. No and None. Dilemma.
None nobody and built a house and placed two windows, nobody stood at the window and nothing stood in the other window, say You, who stayed in? I hope to answer. (Solution at the end).

19. Tooth and Elephanta.
A little mouse was trying to make love to a Elephanta, in that you drop a coconut on the head to Elephanta and it says "Ay" and says the little mouse: already are beginning to suffer, sabrosota.

18. Speaking languages.
As it stated in German bus? Squeeze.

17. Speaking languages.
How Corruption is said in Chinese? Scam.

16. Shoe borrowed.
A lady explains to another that organ size of men was similar to the size of their shoes, and then this lady when her husband comes home, he says, you're going to eat "borrowed shoe"?

15. Fruits. Dilemma. (In Spanish).
In these words is the name 7 fruits, hállalos:
Asfer, Ripchata, Helzaco, Monil, Abaguay, Jaranna, Cobaquerial.

14. Viejito in Pharmacy.
An old man comes to the pharmacy and ask a Viagras, and the pharmacist asks if he brought the recipe, and the old man replies, the récipe not, but at enfermito, yes.

13.- The Drunk with hungry.
A drunk sees a baby sucking his titty to her mother and says, hey buddy, let's change the food, I bring here some spaghetti.

12.- The Monster and the Monstrua.
He comes the monster and tells the Monstrua: we will make an eyesore, and the Monstrua responds: I can not, I have the monstruación.

11. Alzahimer. Dilemma In Spanish.
To find out if you suffer from Alzahimer, complete the following words:
C__ LO, P___TAS, S___XO, P___NE, TE___AS. I hope to answer. (Solution at the end).
I hope to answer. (Solution at the end).
10. Learning English.
A guy asks another: Hey friend, please, you know ?, English and the other responds, of course yes, tell me you want to know ?, and tells the type ah well, it says here: I am .? And the other responds: friend, says there 1 am.

9. In the English class.
The teacher tells Louie: Let's see Louie, please tell me a sentence with the word memory? Scare Me mory, teacher, and Louie says.

8. Old Man Pissing.
An old man is urinating and says, you realize friend, when you feel like, I if you do case.

7. The Old Lady to old Man.
At dawn, the old lady tells the old man: Hey old, your little device is as good bread, the old man is happy and says and how is that old, warm, and tells the old lady: nothing like that, that it never gets hard.

6. The Invisible Man.
The Invisible Man looking for a transparent lady to do some things unseen.

5. The child and the Devil.
A child sees the unemployed Devil in a corner and says hear sir, you are married ?, and Diablo answers: please child, do not be stupid, I'm the devil, I'm not married, and tells the child : and then those horns, are ornamental bastard.

4. Louie in class.
The teacher asks Louie: Louie, if I say I'm enjoying tell me where the subject is ?, and Louie responds: must be above his master, there is no other.

3. Louie learning.
The teacher tells Louie: Let's see Louie, here I have two blocks, if I throw one water, you think happens ?, and says Louie: will sink, teacher, and repeats the teacher: Okay, Louie, you I ask again: Louie, and if we pull the two ?, Louie looks at him and says hear teacher, better not ask me that, because I'll look like I'm the one who tells it.

2. Marrying Girl. Dilemma.
What is the longest and ugly, he sees a girl when she marries?
I hope to answer. (Solution at the end).

1. weepy chick. Joke. A chick comes crying and another asks: why are you crying, my friend ?, and he answers: no, is that my mom left yesterday with some friends for a boiled, and has not returned any.
A Girl playing Piano, or who were Deaf.
Sainete, or Short Theatre.
(From: Achilles Nazoa) ".

Musical Comedy in one act. As the curtain rises, a girl that looks like a meringue (read: covering cream cakes) is playing a classical piece, which also looks like a meringue. His mother, in the foreground before the terrified crowd, is the only one that seems to express some joy at what is happening. The dialogue begins moments before finishing the music. (Music!):
A lady (the mother of the little girl): Oh, but well played! How can you call that he was playing?
-The Lady: Oh, do not you know? That's called piano.
A gentleman: Jeez, lady ... My wife refers to the melody ...!
Mrs.: it is a classic night ... A melody that has over a hundred years.
'The lady: ah, rightly sound so bad! Just imagine, such an old thing must have been spoiled for so long.
The knight: And tell me, madam, how much you paid for that piano?
Mrs.: Twelve Thousand Bolivars!
'The lady: Twelve Thousand Bolivars ... but that is launched, lady!
-The Knight: Hm! To me what I think is launched are the Twelve Thousand Bolivars ...
Mrs.: What did you say?
-The Knight: Here ... yes, that is cheap ... worth the little girl that only the Twelve Thousand Bolivars ...
Why they sell those pianos with little girl and everything, right?
Mrs.: How?
'The lady: That ... means that the little girl is worth a treasure, who plays divinely.
Mrs.: Oh, how kind ... And that you have not heard playing four.
The knight: How? ¿Playing four pianos? If one touches so bad, how will that Zaperoco with three more!
(At that time the concert ends and everyone claps with robust enthusiasm).
Mrs. (going very prim (read: Proud) made the little girl): Oh, what success you have scored, Triquinia! Hear the applause! You'll have to touch them otherwise.
-All Room: No, no, the gun! Help, help!
Mrs.: How do not you? But, then, why they applaud it?
-The Gentleman is that you are taking radish (read: he has not understood) by the leaves, lady. We are not applauding to touch again, but because he finished playing.
The curtain QUICKLY.


Notes:
a) Please can you send your jokes, or jokes to share the E-mail or e-mail: Amedrondon@gmail.com Tank You. Thank you.
I will respect the name of the joke, and please write the name of the country of origin. Thank you so much.

b) Also remember, you can see another group of jokes in my other page Blogger: JOKES, CHISTES, REVIEWS, SPORT, TODAY, AMED. Thank you.


Response to the Dilemmas:
2. The new Last Name.
15.     (Asfer, Ripchata, Helzaco, Monil, Abaguay, Jaranna, Cobaquerial).
Fresa-Strawberry, Parchita-Passion Fruit, Lechoza, Limón-Lemon, Guayaba-Guava, Naranja-Orange, and Albaricoque-Apricot.
12. If the completions were not: CELOS, PATAS, SAXO, PONE, and PUTAS, TEMAS, your problems are others, Alzahimer is not.
21. Who he was Inside.

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