a) Please can you send your jokes, to share the E-mail: Amedrondon@gmail.com Thanks.
Please write: "Joke", joke name, and country of origin. Thank you.
I will respect the name of the joke, and please put me the country of origin. Thank you so much.
b) Also remember, you can see another group of jokes in my other page Blogger: JOKES, CHISTES, REVIEWS, SPORT, TODAY, AMED. Thank you.
"JOKES OLDIES"
An old man goes to the doctor, and says hear Doctor, that will be what I have, I'm not feeling lately fine, tell me ?, please, the doctor will review everything that you can review, at a glance, and says hear sir, I explain you what you have is an "Organic Confusion" and the old asks scared, and that's that Doctor ?, and replied the Doctor: no, that's simple, it's nothing serious, sir, but simply, what should stop you, and will not for at all, and the heart, you should not stop, and has stopped him 3 times.
96.- A Old Man in the Doctor.
An Old Man goes to doctor, and says hear Doctor, I do not know that I have in this leg, it hurts me a lot, and the Doctor sees it, checks, examines, and says, I did not observe anything unusual, such must be "old things" and the old man replied: I do not understand, Doctor, the other leg also has the same age, and does not hurt me.
95. The Oldies, and taxi.
A couple of Viejitos is in the middle of the road, waiting for a taxi, and runs a taxi driver and tells them: Take the old stop, and the little old lady replies, but if you do not catch me lying.
94. The Old Woman and the Church.
A little old lady in the Church says to another: Hey friend, I have the back asleep. And the other answers: yes, I realized, I heard snoring.
93.- A taxi Old Man.
An old man asks a girl: hear Miss, please go here taxis, and she replied: of course sir, I stop ?, and the old man answers: yes, yes, good idea, most perfect.
92.- A little old looking for gifts.
An oldie looking for a gift for your little old lady, go to a store and tells the seller: hear Miss, I'm looking for a gift for ladies, and says the saleswoman: if you want I show the Pantaletas ?, and the old man replied : as already ?, ?, or first we seek the gift ?.
91. The old lady and the Gymnast.
A little old lady is in line at the confessional, in the Church, to confess, and is behind a young man she does not know who is a gymnast, and when the young man ends up confessing that goes, begins to bear jumps, somersaults , turns back, and the old lady says: God, I better not confess today, I go, these penances are very strong.
An old man enters the pharmacy and asked to give a Viagras, and Corpsman asks, and brought the récipe sir ?, and the old man replied: no, ma'am, but if I walk with enfermito.
89. The Old Man and the Loro.
An Oldie has a much talking parrot says profanity, expletives, it messes with the ladies, and the old man is ashamed, it is obstinate, and one day the old man decides to punish the parrot. Puts it in a can, cover the can, and begins to give sticks to the can with the parrot inside, the strikes, the spear, and then, while, open the can to see how is the Lorito, and leaves the lorito and he says, that happened my old, did not feel the sheath, the earthquake?
88. Knowledge and Power.
If youth knew, and old could, else out.
87.- The old woman and her grandson.
School will ask children a donation to supply first aid kit, and a child comes with a Bottle Medical Oxygen, and the teacher asks that beautiful that donation, beautiful daddy, hear, and who gave you that carboy, for you to bring ?, and the child responds, that was my grandmother, a teacher, then the teacher asks, and when you said your grandmother brought her, beautiful daddy? You take her NO, NO, I'm dying.
86. Forgive Brothers.
The priest at Mass, the faithful ask: my children, raise your hand all those who have forgiven his enemies, and everyone, without exception, raise their hands. and only a little old lady, not up, and the priest says, excuse me ma'am, how can you at her age, has not spared anyone, how old are you? And the little old lady says, 99 years old, Father, and the priest asks again: and because you have not forgiven anyone, my daughter ?, and the old lady replied: it is that we all have died, Father.
85. The Mother in Law in the house.
Mother comes home, and Mr. tells him he got put in the parking lot, the broom, old?
84. At Mass.
The priest, at Sunday Mass, says: now let's confess devout, and says a little old lady: and why not to sandals, Father?
83.- The little old lady and ladies.
A lady says to another: Hey friend, give me medicine to see if it heals viejita, to sell, and the other responds: and you actually think you will buy the?
82. You have to trust in God.
God alone is trusted. Anyone should be, or can investigate.
81.- The ideal situation.
The ideal situation is to have women that your wife thinks you have, have the money that everyone thinks you have, be as good as it should be.
A guy tells another: Hey friend, my mother treats me like a God, and the other responds, and how that, friend ?, is and he says, well, she knows that I exist, but I can not see .
79. Death is very bad.
Death sucks. He became a man, and he tells him: how are you going to take ?, I have debts, projects, obligations, then death says, okay, I give one year, not one day more, no less. Missing one day to the anniversary date, the guy is going to a small town in the last, in the end of the world. And when you get to town, the first thing you see is death, and it says, hears it, thanks, you saved me the trip.
78. A Old Man in New York.
A Viejito reaches his people from New York and a friend asks you found it there in the north, friend? And the old man replied: Hey boy, that over there is very nice, but there were 2 things I did not like the first: the racial discrimination there, I think it is very unfair, these swarthy not deserve that treated that way, and the second friend, is that wherever one gets it is pure black, friend.
77. The Old Woman and Old Man.
A Viejita tells his Oldie: love, do not hit me because you have to urinate, Daddy ?, and Viejito grabbed him and gave him a vasenillazos.
76.- A Old Man at the Clinic.
A Viejito get serious Clinic, and just say, do not go I save, I do not want to save, and all the doctors sprang into action to save his life, and the old man told them, but leave me alone, who told pcs., that I want to save, and Doctors and nurses doing everything possible to restore life. Until finally cure it, celebrate achievement, all excited, and then bring the account Clinic at Oldie: This is for health care, this one for housing, this other amount for food, and told the old man : but if I was telling them I did not want them to save me, no, no, nothing.
75.- The Old Lady in court.
In court, the judge asks the little old lady, if you know the prosecuting attorney ?, and Viejita replied: Of course, it was always a bad son who did not want his mother, spoiled, the ruined, did not consider , she never married, and lived only under the shadow of it, until the poor, died. Then he again asked the judge to viejita: and you know the defense attorney ?, Of course, of course yes, if a child was a swindler, bad person, betrayed his wife with anyone else getting, and called the Judge the two lawyers, and said to them are not going to happen this lady ask if knows me.
74. Borrowed money.
An old man asks for money borrowed to another, and this gives him money and says do not go to take a lot with my money, and he replies: do not worry about that, and I'm going to spend.
73. Sick of Nerves.
The lady called the bridegroom to the mobile phone, and says, Daddy, I think I gave you pills Nerves, instead of saying Diarrhea, how you doing? And the husband replied: wonders my love, I'm totally relaxed, but I'm all screwed up.
72. The Laws and his Children.
A mother was drowning, and the husband of one of his daughters, quickly thrown into the water and saves her. The next day, when leaving this son of his house, sees a new carriage in the door with a sign that says to my great son of his mother. At a later time, the mother again suffer another accident, and another husband of another daughter, also saves the accident, and also, that other son, a new car will appear at the door of his house, another sign saying the same thing to my other best-in-law, his mother. Over time, the lady returns to have another accident, this time, one of the sons, only laughed and did nothing to save the lady, which was saved as he could. When you leave your house this son, the next day, also he had a new car at the door with a sign saying to my best son, of his father.
71. The Yerno.
A guy tells another: Hey friend, are going to sell my cheap mother, and the other responds, no friend, nothing like that, I do not give anything for that lady, and the guy responds, ready, and we did business is all yours, take her.
Are three old men talking about their children, and one of them says: my son always has worked selling homes, and has done so well that, who gave him a house, a friend, and says the other oldie: coincidentally the son mine, also works selling, but cars and also going very well, inclusive, also gave a car to a friend, and says the third oldie: my son what you have is luck, that has not, nor does nothing, only has two friends, one who gave him a house, and one that gave him a car.
69.- Falls.
A friend asks another: hey friend, how is everything, how's your dad? And the other replied: my dad, he died? And the other question: and he died ?, and this says, died of Niagara, and the friend asks, but how in the operation ?, and the other says, no, that pushed him.
68.- Winter and Summer.
The wife goes to the Doctor, and poses: hear Doctor, that will be what I have, when I'm making love, sometimes I feel very cold, and sometimes, very hot ?, and the Doctor asks, and how often , you make love ?, and she answered him, good Doctor, twice a year: once in winter, and again in summer.
67. In the Ophthalmologist.
An old goes to an eye operation, and asks the Doctor: Doctor, you think I will lose my eyes, and replied the Doctor: hear friend, you would'll deliver your eyes in a container, if you will lose, and that's your thing.
66.- not become pregnant.
A lady tells her best friend: Hey friend, I have to watch a lot of getting pregnant, and the other replies, but girl, if your husband is sterile, and tells the lady: for this reason, friend, why, exactly.
65. Grandpa morning.
A grandfather tells his grandson: Daddy, I'll give tomorrow 10 Bolívares if you bring me one of those who call azulitas Viagra pills, having your dad in the drawer of his nightstand, he knows not. The next day, the grandfather gives the child, 100 Bolivars and the child says, but why you give me more so grandfather, if you just tell me 10? And he answered grandfather else is that you commanded your grandmother.
64. Old liar.
two old they are, and one says to the other: great friend, Long time no see, where were you ?, and the other responds: no, is that my 87 years old, a girl accused me that I had raped her, and I, proud to have that ability yet, I pled guilty, and tells the other: and what happened ?, and replied the old man: nothing, the judge did not believe me and just sentenced me to 10 days a liar.
63.- Oldies sleeping.
The old lady and the old man are sleeping in the morning and hear a noise, and tells the old lady: old, heard the noise, peek into believing that here is a dog, and answers the old man: for better you look out you , believing that here is a witch.
62.- Cosmetic Surgeries.
A gentleman of 50 years, cosmetic surgery is done in the face to look younger. Leaving the Hospital is for a business, and asks the clerk: how many years you figure me I have Mr. ?, and he replies: as 25, and the gentleman says, none of that gentleman, 50 years, and so knight sees another person and asks him the same question, and respond almost equal, and again say anything like that, 50 years old, friend. Then go to a little old lady, and asks him the same question, and the old lady replied that she would guess the age, like feeling the testicles, to which he is astonished, and how no one was there, says it's okay I do, to see if it's true ?, the little old lady shoves his hand in his pants, and soon, says, you have 50 years, sir, the guy is surprised, and says and what its technical lady? and the little old lady says, nothing amiguito technique, I was behind you, when you said the last time.
61.- Romantic Oldies.
Are sleeping the little old lady and old man, and says the little old lady: old, before me you grabbed my hand, and the old man as he can, take your hand, and touches hands to the little old lady, then the little old lady says, also before you kissed me old, and the old man makes an effort, and a half kisses the little old lady then the little old lady says, I also nibbled, old, and the old man says: go and find me the plate, pussy to bite.
A little old lady says to another: Hey friend, my old has become a beast in bed, and the other asks, and why, that little old lady ?, and says, yes, is that now every night urine, marking his territory.
59.- Old Lady Galician.
A little old lady says to another: Hey friend, I, my 90 years, I still work, and the other asks, and you can work, woman ?, And the little old lady replied: well my daughter, watching over me.
58.- Old Man Galician, doing errands.
A Galician oldie out of an office where I was doing an errand, and go to a traffic cop, making a fine on a vehicle that was illegally parked, and tells the police: Man, I have not taken 5 minutes, because I do not consider Please, I'm an old man, the police ignores him and continues the old Galician: you have little man shame, police upset, put the fine it did in the windshield, and begins to make another fine for the bad treatment of the lord, then the old Galician sees the police is young, and says not understand how can sorry accepted into the police man, police are still upset, put another ticket on the windshield, and she begins to give another fine, so the old Galician offensive in this a bus approaches and says Galician: here comes my bus, I go.
57- Old Man Galician.
A Galician Old Man says to another: hear my friend, I have eighty-odd years, and says the other: what a coincidence man, I also have 80, but the reality is that no peak at all.
56.- Old Man before the Judge.
An old man comes before the judge, and says hear Judge, I want to separate from my wife because her life has been throwing me all you have in your hands, dishes, and all that is, by the head and the judge says, but why now if you want to separate, if that was all life ?, and says the old man: is that now if you are having more accuracy.
55. Mother to her son.
The elderly mother, asks his son, a professional man and Son, tell me honestly, I was a good mother to you? And the son answers: of course, mother, yes, I think I've been the only being, I have had to learn to walk, and to change the diapers myself, with only 4 months old.
54. Old Man Deceiver.
An Old Man asks another: Hey old, how many times do you love, a day ?, and he replied: I do, at least 6 times a day, then the other old man, he went and played in the Lotteries, the number 06. When the numbers came out, left the number 00, and the little old player goes and tells the other old: old coooño, you if you're lying.
53. Shoe borrowed.
A lady explains to another, that organ size of men was similar, was proportional to the size of their shoes, and then this lady, when her husband comes home, tells you: you will eat "shoe borrowed "?
52.- Old Lady in Pharmacy.
An old man comes to the pharmacy, and calls for Viagras, and the pharmacist asks, but hey sir, and you brought récipe? And the old man replied: the récipe not miss, but if I walk with enfermito.
51.- Old Lady in Pharmacy.
A little old lady comes to a pharmacy and ask for a vibrator Manual, and the pharmacist tells you that they only have power, if you do not want one of those, and the old lady replied: No sir, here are many blackouts, and then a it is very bad, worse.
An Old Man is urinating and says friend you realize that when you're up, I if I do case.
49.- Donating Old Man.
In a Grand Assembly of Donors, the keynote speaker says: congratulations to Mr. Demosthenes, for donating his organ playing, and the audience begins to shout and ask: it stops, it stops, and says the old man Demosthenes : no, if you get to stop, not dono.
48. The Old Lady to Old Man.
At dawn, the Old Lady tells the Old Man: Hey old, your little device is as good bread, and the old man is happy, and says how is that old, warm, and tells the old lady: nothing like that, that never gets hard.
47.- The Invisible Man.
The Invisible Man looking for a transparent lady to make things unseen.
46.- Eating Bonbons.
The little Old Lady keeps his chocolates, within a container where the old man had kept his glass eye. When the old lady is eating sweets, swallowed the eye glass master, and the eye, caught in her rear him, and had to go to hospital, and the doctor reviews it and says, lady, you do not go I to believe, I have seen many back in my life, but never seen, that a back saw me.
45.- feel full. Joke. Notice to all persons having a vacuum: they can go through the brewery to buy it or exchange it for a full one.
44. Begging hand.
The suitor tells the father: come to ask the hand of his daughter, and Mr. tells him. But, and you can support a family, young suitor ?, and says, oh yes, sir. And he says Mr: a good, here are 12 nothing else, nothing else, accepts, okay, you think?
43.- The thing is true.
A man who goes to a village, you say that going for these people, it gets gay. Coming to town, they make you want to do poop, and of course get where do, gets into the mountain, and when it ends, to clean, just get some leaves that do not know they are Pica-Pica, and at the start to prickle the back it says: coooño, the sheath as it is true, Ay.
42.- A nice gesture.
To a man is lost a package of bills Bs 20.000.oo, and other approaches him and says.. Sir, it is you who is lost ticket package ?, and B 20.000.oo Mr answers: yes, of course friend got me the money, please ?, and tells her friend: ro ?, no, no money, the liguita, here it is.
41. Parent to Child.
Dad tells his daughter: daughter, what you did not have a name, and the daughter replies, not worry about it, handsome daddy, in 9 months I must put one.
40. Want to be right ?.
To be fine, do you need a woman who treats you well, another who has money, and one that serves you well. And yes, that none is known.
The Cure, at the funeral, said that the deceased was the best person in the world, the best Christian, who deserved more than anyone forgiveness of the Creator, and the widow tells the child: Hey dad, because you will not see if which is in the urn is your dad ?.
38.- A Free Country.
We are in a free and democratic country, everyone here can do what you send women.
37. The secretary and her boss.
The Chief Secretary asks the Lord, and that "V" Friday ?, written and Chief replied: hear Miss, we will not be with that now, better put them all on Monday.
San Roque 36.- healthy. Celebrated phrase.
To prevent epidemics have to ask San Roque, that the plague will not touch you.
35. In the Agency Lotteries.
A Lotteries agency comes a guy and says, pay me wins with 38, and the clerk tells you that 38 not out. And the guy says, is already out.
34. Letter to Baby Jesus.
When I was small, I think the baby Jesus, could not read, because I brought what I could. Now, after adult, it is that he learned.
33. Ideally, die asleep.
That will be true whether a person dies sleeping when the sun rises?
32.- La Cucaracha dancer.
A cockroach was dancing like crazy and another asks: that music is that you're dancing ?, and she replied: that music, Insecticide.
31. The Chief considered.
A boss tells one of his employees: Hey friend, I know that the salary I pay you, not enough to marry you, but someday you'll thank me.
The Doctor gave a patient 6 months of life, and as the patient had defaulted him, gave him 6 months.
29.- A lady intrigued.
But Doctor, what happens ?, not know that breast exam was done with the tongue.
28. The liquor is not good.
When you go to leave the liquor, take me your bottles for my home.
27.- The patient and the doctor.
A patient tells the doctor: Doctor, because nobody will pay attention to me ?, and the Doctor replies, happens next.
26. Tremendous Shock.
A Moreno with a luxurious and expensive vehicle is stopped with the red light at the light, and there comes a catire at full speed, and hits very hard from behind, he foiled the vehicle behind. There comes a catire police, sees the crash and asks the dark: your credentials please, and tell me how fast you were coming backwards?
25. Judas in the desert.
Walking on a long journey, Jesus tells his disciples: My children, take every man a stone which consider the size of your sins and carry it on his shoulders in this holy pilgrimage. All disciples took a great stone, and set it as Jesus, Judas only took a stone that fit in the pocket of his robe and so followed the long road said. Coming to a river on the way, the disciples said to Jesus, Master, take water from the river but shall we eat? And Jesus answers them that the stone bring them become Instant Pan everyone ate a big piece of bread which had become his stone them.. A Judas course, he had to ask for more bread to others. To follow the way, Jesus tells them: Children, take again another stone and carry it on their proportional love with me shoulders. This time Judas took a stone of a very large size, almost could not go on the road with her. Having walked a very long way, and Judas almost could not continue the way and tells Jesus: Father, we will do with the stone we carry on our shoulders now, when the convert? And Jesus answers: No, nothing. Not remember you. They brought a stone, no no, let go of that already.
24. The Pope and the faithful.
In a homily, in a large square, the pope stood before a large column of faithful who asked the blessing. The Pope told them: Kiss my hand, and the faithful kissed his hand, and threw the pope blessed them, suddenly the Pope says: See that joke, I have stolen the ring.
23. A guy in the jungle.
A guy is scared in the jungle and suddenly hears a noise and thought it must be a tiger or a lion, and asks its Patron Saints that make him poop, and indeed, their Patron Saints thus become, and it turns out that what was coming was a pig.
22. Cannibals.
One type is missing in the jungle, and is very hungry. In that they catch Cannibals, they take it, they put it in a large pot, and begin to put in the pot with him, potatoes and more potatoes, and leave carrying candela a good time to soften them, when they go to check whether everything has been cooked, get the guy and tells the cannibals: more potatoes.
21. The Lamp and Genius.
An intellectual gentleman who just liked reading lamp Aladin is achieved and begins to rub it in that a genius appears to him and tells him he can ask 3 wishes he's granted, and the guy says: 1, i want a library, and right there appears a large library, 2nd, i also want to have many books, and right there, many books appear, and 3rd, i want to stay alone in this world, and and there it disappear genius and all world, and when the gentleman will enter the library, they dropped his reading glasses, and he went bankrupt.
A gentleman tells his girlfriend: Mom, I'll call Eve, because his first wife, and she replies, and I you, I'll call Dalmatian, for being my number 101.
19. Placing names.
When God was putting the name the animals, saying, You shall be called Gallina, you will be called Pig, you will be called Donkey, Donkey and says: how I'm going to call? Donkey, and each time, the donkey asked the same thing, and God is angry, and says call you Idiot donkey and the donkey responds: a clear, and tell me the name too.
18.- Dealer Sick.
A trader is in very poor health, hospitalized, and his three sons are visiting, and the merchant asks them to each: Abdel, are here ?, and the child responds: If Father, I am here, and again ask the merchant, the other son, Hassam, you too are here? and also that child responds: If Father, here I am, then asks again: Hassalá: You're here too? And the daughter replied: If Dad, here I am, the trader is furious, and tells them: then who the hell is taking the business, coooño?
17. The Child Transportation.
A child is in their busing, and is singing: If my father was a horse and my mom a mare, I would be a horse, if my father was a monkey and my mom was a monkey, I'd be a monkey, the driver alters both hear the same song, and tells the child: hey son, and if your dad was gay and your mother that you were one Prostitute ?, and the child replied: insurance would be a school bus driver.
16.- A Trader in his last moments.
A trader is dying and tells the children: Naim, you'll leave all Urbanizaciones North, Abdullah, to you I leave the houses in the south, Nahel, to you I leave the whole area this as you woman, I leave the downtown area, and the nurse hears all this and tells the woman: hear lady, her husband had many properties, right ?, and replied the lady: none of that friend, those are the areas to distribute the goods.
15. A Child is light.
A boy asks his dad: Dad, who is love ?, and dad replied: love is the light of life, son, and returns the child to ask, and that is marriage, Dad ?, and dad responds: a good son, marriage is the bill that comes later.
14. Mass on Sunday.
At Sunday Mass, the priest tells parishioners going to see my children, today we will talk about how harmful, how bad lying, that lies are bad, let's see, raise your hand all who have read Chapter 24, Luke ?, all parishioners raised their hands, and tells the priest: that is my children, not to lie, Luke only has 24 chapters.
13. Wife Deaf.
A man tells his wife: Hey Mom, if I give it a shot, you feel it? And the wife replied: of course I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm not deaf.
12. Jesus and his apostles.
Jesus comes and asks John, John, where the bread is ?, and John, his mouth full of bread, eating it hidden, it says: ate Judas, Jesus comes and whips Judas, then Jesus comes and asks Peter, Peter, where the wine is ?, and Peter, who is half drunk and with the hidden bottle, says, it took Judas, and Jesus goes and strikes again Judas, and then Jesus tells everyone his apostles: here today, any of you, I will betray tonight, and says Judas. all me, all me, all me.
11. Bad dog.
A man says to another: hear sir, my little dog Chihuahua, killed his dog Great Dane, and answers the lord that's impossible, my dog is too big for me to kill a Chihuahua, and tells the sir accurate, so I tell you, he was trancado throat.
A Child sees the unemployed Devil in a corner and says hear sir, you are married ?, and Devil answers: please Child, do not be stupid, I'm the Devil, I'm not married, and tells the Child : and then those Horns, are Ornamental Bastard.
A gay goes stroll through the Swiss Alps, and see a sign that says Snow conditions:
Neuchatel. 14 cms, soft
Lausanne. 19 cms, slippery
Sachauffhausen: 15 cms, solid.
And then the Gay, lets written underneath:
PEPE: 20 cms, and Hard as Stone..
8. Seeing your wife.
A friend tells another: Hey friend, yesterday I saw your wife, and the other responds, what ?, and the friend says, and what, you must have already more than a Viking horns, climbed up a deer, and with pockets full of snails.
7. Little girl lost.
A man is walking his daughter to the park, and it is lost, then Mr. goes and asks another man, if I had not seen Mr. ?, and says no, and asks him how called the girl ?, and Mr. replied: called "Esperanza", then the master, he says, then it will be difficult to find, friend, because hope is the last thing you lose.
6. Understanding the Ladies. Trabalengua.
Trying to understand a lady, you can decipher, inter alia, as follows: that a group of four apples, you will try to remove a pear, for in this way, to determine how tall the sun.
5. The Lady and the Doctor.
An elderly lady goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, that is what I have, hear, sometimes I feel very depressed, I look very wrinkled, I think I'm ugly, I feel no mood for anything, I see that all the world has more life than me, what will I have, Doctor, tell me, please ?, and Doctor answers: what you have is why, ma'am.
4. The Untold biggest party. Story.
One day God woke up very happy and excited, was in a good mood that easy you could tell, and celebrate that fact that millennia ago did not happen, decreed that day a General Party, and the heavenly country the celebration was a fact.
Knowing what decreed by the Eternal Father himself, friends of Hell coleados were introduced. The first to arrive was the devil, as always, disguised with a very beautiful wig, but grabbed Luke had just happened. He had not even realized what happened, when it strikes a great whoop and a horrible curse, was that the Holy in question already had submitted. And the devil says, this action is very maluca, because I did not let go, says San Lucas annoying Diablo.
To try to reflect to what life was hard up there, I'll give you an idea, with this picture I paint:
The fun was complete, San Gregorio could not stop, Saints Peter, Paul, Chucho, Jacinto and José playing dominoes, San Mateo had a sore finger, Santa Catalina and Santa Guillermina eating catalinas and tangerines and dancing like chickens and when they thirst was taking water in a pimpina, Santa Teresa left nothing on the table, Santa Genoveva telling another: drink, drink, San Genobebo if he said no, I do not drink, San Angulo was no where to put the bag. San Cayetano with an itchy arm, St. Barnabas and dancing her feet hurt, Santa Filomena looked like a baby, San Pancrasio was so full of all that sickening, St. Patrick as always very serious and very decent, St. Jude throwing joke, San Tomé passing with coffee, Santa Ana de Barbanolas was up to his ears, St. Mary Magdalene with all her hair tousled. San Federico only shouted that if rich. San Luis doing something in the bathroom. San Gerund up and down with San Abundio, San Apascacio nobody paid attention, St. Ruperta stop in the bathroom, at the door, San Augusto giving taste, San Ramiro expressed: since I hardly watch Santa very cautious Prudencia Santa Rosa was with some roses, Santa Maria and had not tasted any food. And the Devil said again: this joke is in very bad taste, for the next I do not return or invite me, this happened to me, nobody resists. No one was spared in the celebration, it was fun. In the end, nobody wanted to leave. When you finish this pachanga so fine, they all went to the corner where there was a cantina. And later, more calmly, all relaxed their souls, blessings they lay, and said that next shindig is not lost, that would be there. So is demonstrated friends, to celebrate a good day without so many mysteries and dissimulation, we all enjoy them without becoming one and so on.
(From: Achilles Nazoa) "
musical comedy in one act. As the curtain rises, a girl that looks like a meringue (read: covering cream cakes) is playing a classical piece, which also looks like a meringue. His mother, in the foreground before the terrified crowd, is the only one that seems to express some joy at what is happening. The dialogue begins moments before finishing the music. (Music!):
A lady (the mother of the little girl): Oh, but well played! How can you call that he was playing?
-The Lady: Oh, do not you know? That's called piano.
A gentleman: Jeez, lady ... My wife refers to the melody ...!
Mrs.: it is a classic night ... A melody that has over a hundred years.
'The lady: ah, rightly sound so bad! Just imagine, such an old thing must have been spoiled for so long.
The knight: And tell me, madam, how much you paid for that piano?
Mrs.: Twelve Thousand Bolivars!
'The lady: Twelve Thousand Bolivars ... but that is launched, lady!
-The Knight: Hm! To me what I think is launched are the Twelve Thousand Bolivars ...
Mrs.: What did you say?
-The Knight: Here ... yes, that is cheap ... worth the little girl that only the Twelve Thousand,...
Why they sell those pianos with little girl and everything, right?
Mrs.: How?
'The lady: That ... means that the little girl is worth a treasure, who plays divinely.
Mrs.: Oh, how kind ... And that you have not heard playing four.
The knight: How? ¿Playing four pianos? If one touches so bad, how will that Zaperoco with three more!
(At that time the concert ends and everyone claps with robust enthusiasm).
Mrs. (going very prim (read: Proud) made the little girl): Oh, what success you have scored, Triquinia! Hear the applause! You'll have to touch them otherwise.
-All Room: No, no, the gun! Help, help!
Mrs.: How do not you? But, then, why they applaud it?
-The Gentleman is that you are taking radish (read: he has not understood) by the leaves, lady. We are not applauding to touch again, but because he finished playing.
The curtain QUICKLY.
2. Bolivar and Paez.
Simon Bolivar, the liberator of Venezuela, had a surname General Paez, which used much profanity, he was very rude, very colloquial, so that Bolivar did not like to take it to the Great cocktails Venezuelan Cologne. And if he liked Paez go, go with him, of course. At a meeting of the High Society of the time he was to attend Bolivar and Paez wanted to accompany him. Bolivar tells him that he was going to take, but only act if he approved it with a gesture. When sitting at the big table of the meeting, Paez he had to sit in a corner, and the leg of the table in the middle of his legs. When everyone had drunk a lot of glasses, began with jokes, always respectful, but girls as always, wanted Paez say something, and Bolivar would not leave him until much insistence, Bolivar admitted Paez to say something. And Paez says: Let's see young, tell me please, I have in the middle of the legs ?, everyone blushes, Bolivar feels sorry, it sulks, and tells Paez responds yourself what it is, and very careful what you say, and says Paez: I do not understand, if I speak only of the table leg. All apologize for thinking ill of Paez, and thank you to them again say another question, and says Páez: Okay, now tell me please, which again have in between your legs? And everyone replied in chorus: the leg of the table, and says Paez not, now you got it wrong, now if what they thought first.
1. THE END OF THE FIRST MILLENNIUM. Story.
The end of the First Millennium (Year 1000 d / C) of the Christian Era. Story.
As the end of the year 2000 for the year end there were many questions, doubts, fears, and is logical since everyone has not lived those mentioned dates.
As we all know, there are true laity, and also people who actually attend Mass on Sundays, and even many others participate in religious celebrations, processions, with steadfastness and adherence to them. Really the minority group.
Also there is another vast majority will only masses for any need, christenings, weddings, first communions, etc., and we can give a reasonable idea, family, celebration, drinks.
And so, there is another group, perhaps the majority, who did not go to church, but he was taken to christen loaded, and there is what they know of Christianity.
It happens that by the end of the first millennium, not known for certain whether the world would still spinning, if continue life on earth, or would the Day of Judgement.
So in this case it is waiting and everyone turned Layman. Actually in the Church at 12.oo night December 31 of the year 1000, there was only space in the Pulpit, and very little, so that the priest gave New Year's Mass.
The old women and old folks who are really always in church, listening to their masses, had no place for that moment in the house of God. As well accustomed girls in this sense, either.
Drunks, vagrants, tramps and vagabonds, atheists, everyone was at the forefront of the Church.
Everyone wanted to save.
There was no one else. It was impossible to enter the Church. Only the curate, and that because it has an access to the rectory.
Friends, and we live the end of the year 2000, and we have an idea of what was experienced at the end of the year 1000, we expect that if we have the opportunity to be at the end of the year 3000, we will not make a painful spectacle.
Avoid problems and races last minute are Christians, do good and do not look at who.
Bye.
a) Please can you send your jokes, or jokes to share the E-mail or e-mail: Amedrondon@gmail.com Tank You. Thank you.
I will respect the name of the joke, and please, write the name of the country of origin. Thank you so much.
b) Also remember, you can see another group of jokes in my other page Blogger: JOKES, CHISTES, REVIEWS, SPORT, TODAY, AMED. Thank you.
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